And blurts out answers before the question is complete. All of our children. Johnny talks too much. Johnny fiddles and makes noises with his pencil. Johnny lacks self-control. God made me a certain way, wired me to be able to deal with a lot of stuff. My parents had a tremendous challenge, teaching me self-control, because I had so much mental energy and so much physical energy.
I still have a lot of energy, even now. And you can only imagine what I was like before I was twelve. I was a rocket going in every direction. My parents worked very hard to harness me. They loved me and they spanked me. And I learned self-control. All these psychologists and psychiatrists running around trying to solve a problem that can only be solved in a home where the Word of God reigns supreme.
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And we are called, parents, to teach our children to obey us. And not just because we have this own independent agenda, but because we represent to them the truth of God. Children, you should obey your parents willingly. You should obey your parents unconditionally. You should obey your parents gladly and joyfully because they are teaching you the truth of God. Last year…I guess now a few years ago…I read those statistics, they were from a few years ago.
The latest statistics to me, eight million children a year assault their parents. One foreigner to our country said the thing that impressed him most about America was the way parents obeyed their children. How tragic. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. And why? What does it say? This is right. Who says? God has established what is right. There is no moral standard.
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And then how can you teach your child what is right if there is no right. All you can try to do is keep your kid from irritating you. And for many people, the simplest way to do that is drug them. So we teach our children what is right. We call them to obedience as if they were obeying the Lord because we are passing His Word, His will to them. We not only do it by verbal instruction. We not only do it by reading to them. We do it by modeling it in our own obedience to God. But we teach them to obey. And, you see, we have an unusual relationship to our children.
Listen to these thoughts. The child will eventually grow away from the parents and come to a direct relationship with God through Christ.
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But while that little child is small, their relationship to God comes through us. When a child disobeys his parents, he is, for all intents and purposes, disobeying God. This is tremendously serious. By the same token, a child who fights against his natural rebellious tendencies and submits to his parents, is submitting to God.
And this brings wonderful blessing. Tell your children that. Tell them that. And if you disobey God, you will bring upon yourself serious judgment, chastening. Children need to understand it that how they respond to you is how they respond to God Himself.
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They are special to God. But His relationship to them is mediated through you, his parents. They need to understand that. They need to know that their greater accountability is to God, but they manifest that through their obedience to you.
Twenty-one parenting tips for ADHD
His father, David, of course, was hardly a perfect father. He had failed to discipline his son. He had failed to discipline Absalom, so what did he get? He got a rebellious son. Neither his mother or father taught him self-control. And David did nothing about it; David did nothing about it. So he killed Amnon. But he learned that from his father who killed Uriah, the Hittite. Well David finally acted out of fear of Absalom. Not out of fatherly concern, but rather out of fear and exiled Absalom and still refused to deal with the situation until he was forced to do so.
David was a weak, ineffectual father, and Absalom had reasons to be hostile and out of control and angry. But in spite of what reasons he had, Absalom should have submitted to David. He should have done what was right. So in spite of a failing father, God killed Absalom, just as God had said he would do to rebellious children.
Not only obedience on the outside, but obedience from the inside, obedience based on respect and reverence and honor. Not a selfish obedience, not a bitter obedience, not an unwilling resentful or fearful obedience, but a loving, respectful obedience. Value your father and mother, put a high price on them. In other words, realize how valuable they are to you. Children, understand how great a treasure they are.
This is the first commandment with a promise. But it is the first commandment dealing with human relationships. But this is the first of the commandments that deal with human relationships and, among those commandments, the first one with a promise. And the promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.
You want a happy life? You want a full life? Obey your parents. Your children need to know that. Your children need to be taught that. It is absolutely essential, however, that they know that God promises blessing and long life to those who obey Him. And that that obedience is mediated through their parents. Of all the commandments regarding human relationships, why is this so important? This is at the core of the family.
This is at the core of the family; therefore, it is at the core of the church; therefore it is at the core of the society, both of which are made up of families. A generation of undisciplined, disrespectful, rebellious, disobedient children will destroy families, churches, nations. And when you have a disobedient, disrespectful child, it is a tragedy in many ways, in a terrible grief.
Listen to what it says in Proverbs. It all starts, all the wholeness of relationships start right there. Take his life. Because the infection of this in the nation is devastating, an infection which we experience even at this time. I think I have the time to mention this to you tonight. Let me read verses 36 to 38 and make a comment or two. Let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well.
So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. Now what you appear to see here is a conflict. In Jewish culture parents, and particularly fathers, were in the unique and dominant role of deciding who their children would marry. The same general…I say that tongue and cheek, as you understand. The same general custom prevailed in many other societies and certainly included that of Rome. In New Testament times the arranged marriage was the norm.
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And so some well-meaning fathers who had come to Christ and were all excited about the prospect of serving the Lord had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord to be single, sort of dedicated them as permanent virgins. But when the daughters reached marriageable age, they had a different idea.
Praise your child when they have done what is required, however small but be careful not to overpraise. Break up necessary sit-down times such as meals and homework into smaller, manageable chunks, say minutes. Avoid food additives and colourings; there is some evidence that children with ADHD are particularly sensitive to these.
Discuss this with a GP or dietician if you are unsure. Find out about local parenting programmes and support groups — these can really help. What is ADHD? Contact The national charity for families with disabled children, including those with ADHD, with guidance and information. Local and regional support via postcode search button. Imagine telling your year-old to make his bed.
God's Pattern for Children, Part 2
Now imagine finding him, minutes later, lying on his unmade bed playing cards. What should you do? Give him a sharp word and put him in time-out? According to Dr. In many cases, he says, a child with ADHD fails to comply not because he is defiant, but simply because he becomes distracted from the task at hand in this case, making the bed.
Distractibility is a common symptom of ADHD — something that he may be unable to control. Eventually, his desire to please you evaporates. The best approach in situations like this might be simply to remind your child to do what you want him to do. But give him the benefit of the doubt. Are you the kind of parent who finds fault with everyone except your child?
But trying to pin the blame exclusively on others encourages your child to take the easy way out. Why should she take personal responsibility for her actions if she can blame someone else or if she repeatedly hears you blame someone else? Kids who repeatedly hear bad things about themselves eventually come to believe these things.
Carol Brady, Ph. But when you team up with your child to problem-solve various negative behaviors, you create a climate where your child feels loved and supported despite her shortcomings. Ask for her input. The more involved your child is in the solution, the better the outcome.
He will feel less frustrated and be more cooperative.
In their quest to quash behavior problems, many parents overlook all the positive ways in which their child behaves. The resulting negativity can cast a pall over the household that affects every aspect of life. Bear in mind that some of the problem behaviors you ascribe to ADHD may be common to all children of that age.
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Make happiness and laughter the cornerstones of family life. Spend fun time with your children. Go with them on bike rides. Play with them at the park. Visit museums together. Take them to the movies. Sure, life with ADHD can be challenging.