It is not the ideal picture we see painted across blogs and other media. Often, it does not come natural in some aspects.
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When we embrace motherhood, we will need to let go of many of our own desires. Embracing motherhood means embracing the training up of our children and the commitment required to accomplish that. Embracing motherhood is saying yes to the child who asks you to play with them, even when your to-do list is a mile long and playing Candyland is close to torture. There are so many distractions and so much technology that relationships in the family are suffering catastrophically. Technology can be an excellent tool, but it can also be our worst enemy in many different ways. We obviously cannot ignore the fact that our children are growing up in a world saturated with technology.
While some aspects are necessary tools in order to navigate our world, there are many elements that can be drastically minimized or eliminated altogether. Use them as enrichment or supplement, but do not allow them to do your job of nurturing. We do not want our children turning to Google or chat rooms to learn about life.
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They desperately need to learn from their mothers and fathers. Mothers have dreams, too. Many go unspoken from fear of feeling selfish. Having a dream is not selfish in and of itself. But if not tended to properly, it can quickly escalate to that and become all-consuming.
As a writer, I am surrounded by other mom writers. There are different seasons of our lives, and the heart of motherhood is not the season for throwing ourselves full force into our own dreams unless that dream involves the whole family. I am blessed to have 3 children thus far who love to read and write about as much as their mama. So I capitalize on that by allowing us all time to brainstorm, write, and read alongside one another. I hate to say this but the sad truth is that discipleship is sorely lacking in homes.
Part of this issue goes back to our saturation of technology. There was never an argument about whose job was whose. These women are all now matriarchs of large families. Noirin has seven grandchildren ranging in age from 29 down to Rita has six, from 10 to 20 years of age and Hetty is now a four times great-grandmother while having 10 grandchildren ranging in age from 33 years to So what advice might the matriarchs give their daughters or granddaughters today?
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Noirin is more specific stating that she would always advise against criticising the in-laws. She also feels that teenagers today should be encouraged to follow their own star more and that there should be a radical lessening in society's obsession with points for college. Hetty is altogether more sanguine, preferring not to offer advice, saying: "Life is very different nowadays. I wouldn't feel right offering advice. These women all began their adult working lives in an era when they were expected to give up their jobs when they married; something they all did in their early twenties and with only a very hazy idea of how to control their fertility.
But as the times changed through the second wave of feminism in the s, they changed too, and that makes them rather unusual for their generation. They all went back to work while their children were still in school and faced some disapproval from other women for that decision. They struggled, as families still do, but none regret going back to work and rejoiced in the freedom it brought. Do they think that young women today have it easier than they did?
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They want to retain their own identity. And I think that can lead to a bit of a battle in their heads. They want to give everything to their children but also everything to themselves. Not in a selfish way. But they feel more under pressure to do everything. As we drain our coffee cups, the talk turns to how important their female friendships have been, throughout their lives. And they give thanks that Hallmark hasn't cottoned on to that fact yet.
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