Leadership and Decisions 02 - Clearworth
They blame you for parts of their lives that they are responsible for taking care of. Their various addictions, failures, shortcomings all get served on your plate — along with the check. They exhibit hot and cold behavior. These intermittent periods of kindness mixed with cruelty are a set-up to get you addicted to the crazymaking cycle of their abuse. The silent treatment is harmful because it affects the same area of the brain that registers physical pain.
His Devious Intent
These sadistic individuals are indifferent to your suffering; they lack empathy and some even take pleasure in seeing you suffer. The most malignant of narcissists even drive their victims to suicide. This is done with a cruel and callous indifference that is unsettling. They show little to no concern for your welfare or your basic needs. They attempt to fast-forward intimacy with you without getting to know you — physically and emotionally. When life is going well and you have everything going for you, they always seem to come around to leech off your newfound resources.
They piggyback on your success and take credit for your ideas.
Leadership and Decisions 02
They judge your life decisions. Negating self-trust acts as leverage for a toxic person to step in and exercise their power over you. They rarely provide emotional validation — every word out of their mouth tends to pick at your emotions. By invalidating and pathologizing your emotions, they ensure that you never learn to listen to your inner guidance. They cry crocodile tears when they need something or as faux remorse.
Like a hoover vacuum, they suck you back into their toxic vortex even after the ending of the relationship, friendship or partnership.
Once they get what they want from you , they leave and you may not hear from them from quite some time. At least, not unless they need you for something else, in which case, they tend to come crawling back. They use you for your resources but are stingy with their own. Money, shelter, sex, social networks — they want access to all of yours. However, when it comes to their own resources and connections, they tend to be a lot more reserved. They withhold acknowledgment and appreciation. You could bend over backwards fulfilling each and every one of their requests, and still not feel appreciated by them.
Or, they turn the conversation back to themselves. They gossip about people and engage in relational aggression. They enjoy pitting people against one another.
They like spreading rumors. They thrive off of excluding people and socially ostracizing those they feel threaten their power or evoke their envy. They recruit allies or flying monkeys to enable their behavior and carry out some of their dirty work for them. They spread misinformation about you and spread smear campaigns to undercut your credibility.
This way, if you ever speak out about their behavior, fewer people would believe you. They covertly and overtly insult you. These insults become ingrained in your psyche and lead to self-sabotage. They withhold affection — for no apparent reason. Most people withdraw from being affectionate due to some sort of conflict. Toxic people do it so they can play puppeteer to your emotions. They use sex to degrade , objectify and control you rather than as a way to connect with you. Sex is a power play to them, another instrument to feed their grandiose fantasies.
That way, you never get to have a voice in the relationship. Your desires or basic needs never even enter the picture. They idealize you , putting you on a pedestal, only to devalue the same qualities they once praised. Throwing you off the pedestal has the effect of making you work hard to get back on it. Meanwhile, they sit back, relax, and enjoy the show of making you pine for their approval. They constantly shift the goal posts so what you do or who you are is perceived to never be enough. She is a staff writer at Thought Catalog.
They respond to consequences. You deserve the best and more… so I strongly encourage you to get this book! It took every detail from my past struggles and validated and helped make sense of everything.
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