Guide I Do... Over? A Christians Guide to Remarriage

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As a couple, we shared very similar strengths and weaknesses, with above-average cohesion and more structured relationship roles. While not determining our decision to marry, this encouraging evaluation helped identify areas where we needed to grow before we remarried. Mentor Couples. Whenever you go scuba or skin diving, the cardinal rule is that you always use a "buddy" to help you in times of trouble.

Couples facing remarriage benefit from "buddy couples" or mentors. What is a mentor? Some describe this person as "a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction. A young pianist once approached the master, Leonard Bernstein, asking to be mentored by him. Bernstein told the young man, "Tell me what you want to do, and I will tell you whether or not you're doing it.

You're responsible for playing and practice. But you may not be able to hear yourself play as a great pianist would. I can do that for you. Then mentor and apprentice then compare notes. That's the essence of a mentor relationship. They can help you steer through the maze of challenges and opportunities in remarriage and stepfamily life.

Trial and error are one way to gain experience, but learning successful skills through a mentoring couple and adapting their ideas to one's own situation is a lot smarter. Consulting like this quickly highlights what works, and what doesn't, in critical areas. What couple facing remarriage couldn't use a "brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction? You'll emerge well-prepared for remarriage. Marriage Seminars And Conferences. There are many excellent marriage, and premarriage, Christian seminars, workshops and other resources available to those considering remarriage.

Among these is Marriage Savers , co-founded by Michael J. Willard F. Harley, Jr. Ever since, this organization has provided "FamilyLife Marriage Conferences" and a special "Weekend To Remember" seminar in major cities all over the country each year--excellent seminars helping couples plan for, and work through, marriage issues.

Before we remarried, Cheryl and I committed to attending at least one Christian marriage conference each year. Focus On The Family ministries, begun by Dr. James Dobson, also offers many excellent resources for couples considering marriage. Cheryl and I are so grateful this powerful ministry helps so many couples prepare for solid, biblical marriages, while thoroughly equipping them for a lifetime together!

Of course, many local churches across the country have good premarital courses. There's no shortage of excellent Christ-centered and good secular materials available for couples serious about preparing for remarriage with a suitable partner. But, of all these options and resources, nothing is so valuable and revealing as receiving premarital counseling with a competent Christian counselor. Counselors can minister to you and your beloved on the deepest levels based upon your particular circumstances. But above all, resist the temptation to make a major decision like remarriage without a lot of objective, godly counsel.

You just may find this is one of the ways that God speaks to your heart in guiding you along His path. Choose wisely in making a remarriage commitment to last forever! Used with permission. PREPARE helps you: a get your marriage off to a good start; b build upon the strengths you have as a couple; c more clearly identify areas of your relationship that may be problematic or in need of enrichment; and d better communicate your feelings and ideas with each other about a variety of important topics.

It focuses on thirteen important areas: communication feeling that you are understood and able to share feelings , religious orientation agreement on religious values and beliefs , family and friends having a good relationship with parents, in-laws and friends , leisure activities having shared interests while enjoying time together and apart , conflict resolution being able to discuss and resolve differences , financial management having realistic budget experience and agreement on financial matters , realistic expectations about demands and difficulties , personality issues liking a partner's personality and habits , children and parenting with agreement on the number of children and child-rearing responsibilities , sexual relationship feeling comfortable discussing sexual issues , egalitarian roles agreeing on how to share decision-making and responsibilities , family adaptability, and family cohesion.

Each partner then rates, on a scale from 1 agree strongly to 5 disagree strongly , personal reactions to statements such as: "It is very easy for me to express all my true feelings with my partner" and "My partner and I are adequately prepared for the realities of marriage. This plan includes extensive premarital counseling, a detailed "premarital inventory" of a couple's strengths and weaknesses, classes on morality and making marriages work, and working with a volunteer "mentoring couple" from a local church.

McManus discovered that divorce rates in communities following these premarital standards decrease dramatically from the national averages. Harley authored the classic marriage book, His Needs, Her Needs. Couples attending these seminars learn how love is created and destroyed, how you can identify and meet a couple's most important emotional needs, how to protect each partner from the other's destructive predispositions, and how fair negotiation can help a couple fall in love and stay in love.

After the weekend, the couple immediately begins Dr. During this week course, Dr. Harley sends weekly assignments by email to assist in developing the couple's love for each other, and to monitor their progress at regular intervals. This course features four hours of audio tape instruction, weekly email assignments, and followup.

The series consists of interactive 6-toweek small group studies, designed to help couples open up to each other in fun, non-threatening interactions. They build stronger Christ-centered relationships themselves, and with other couples. In , this series added a study entitled, "Making Your Remarriage Last. Quick Links. It has been one of the most challenging, painful, lonely, difficult experiences of my life With gratitude I am making a donation to the Stepping Forward Campaign. Dobson correctly points out: "The typical couple spends much time talking Here are some qualities any counselor should have: Faithful Christian, knowledgeable about God's Word.

Good communicator. Careful listening is critical to the success of the counseling process. The counselor hears everyone out, not giving decisions like a judge, but clarifying issues so the couple can arrive at their own conclusions. You wouldn't go to your pastor for guidance on filing your income tax, or a financial consultant for advice about your marriage. This blog will be shut down in the upcoming months of Thank you to all of our readers.

It has been an honor to share our journey with you. We pray that God will continue to bless your remarriages every day. We are excited to be ushering in the upcoming months with a new series on prayer. We will be looking at different ways that you can pray for your spouse and for your marriage. What type of things can you pray for specifically that will benefit your marriage? God wants us to come to him with our requests and he is looking for us to have a conversation with him in our prayers. Are there any questions that you have concerning prayer? Do you have any topics of prayer that you would definitely like to see us address?

Please tell us by leaving a comment on this blog post or by contacting us via email at: admin successfulchristianremarriage. We are also adding a new page to our blog — Prayer requests. If you have a prayer request, you may leave it on that page. Please also visit this page if you are a prayer warrior and would like to hold our brothers and sisters in Christ up in your prayers. We are busy people. With the advancements in technology and instant access to the world, we can become busy to the point of over extending ourselves. Sometimes we lose sight of important things because we become immersed in so many little time-consuming details.

Some of it is the mindless stuff. Do you have things that do that to you? Those things that you were only going to give a moment of your time to and now it is an hour or two later? Some of it is the stuff that completely takes over your mind. Maybe we are both too busy. Maybe one is nagging and the other is ignoring the nagging. Maybe we have just become complacent. Make an appointment.

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Give your marriage its very own slot in your day. Write it down. In ink. Or permanent marker. Anything else that wants to take your time during that appointment will need to wait. Put away your technology. The phone calls can wait. The texting can wait. Facebook can wait. Your friends can wait. Yes, even your kids can wait.

You are making the appointment so you can make it when other things can wait. As long as you want. Maybe you can schedule a few five minute appointments. Or maybe you need to work your way up from five minutes. Take what you can. Be creative. Have a staring contest if you want to. Give each other a massage. Head off to the bedroom and … well you know… Do we need to spell that out for you? How are you going to schedule time for your marriage today?

We live in Texas which, for the past few years, has been in a state of drought. This year, God sent the rain. While we did not have some of the flooding that other people experienced, we did have to keep an eye on our property in case we did get the flooding. We also had to be alert to changes in the weather that might bring tornadoes. One rainy evening, in the course of this awareness, we found ourselves standing on our patio watching the lightning display.

The heavy rains were creating a moat around our house. It was stressful — worrying about the weather, our home, and our family. We were tired from the workday. But in the midst of that storm, we stood with our arms around each other, enjoying the moment. We hope that you were able to get some tips to help you make your marriages more successful.

If you enjoyed this series, please let us know. It is such a pleasure for us to interact with our readers. We welcome your comments and emails. We hold all of you in our prayers as God helps us grow in our relationship with each other and with Him.

The Christian Woman’s Guide to Starting Over after Divorce: 7 In-Depth Steps

One thing that we have learned from our remarriage, and stories from many others, is that we have enemies. We have people around us that actually want us to fail. It can be extremely disheartening and discouraging to discover that people who should be rooting for your success can actually be angry and upset by it.

I say Amen, amen and amen to what Sha has just shared. Through prayer, submission, petition, etc.. Be blessed and Shalom. Peter Seah.

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The four children suffered most, having to change schools and losing their home. However, the Lord comforted us and drew us all closer to Him and brought us through the financial struggles. Now married 28 years! Isa It is possible with Gods love anything can be forgiven. Forgive 7 times 70! If a mate will pray and stand for their mate….. Leave the door open for reconciliation and restoration for a broken marriage.

In Christ all can change into his likeness. Forgiveness is one thing, staying together is another. Actually, the way I see the above described scenario, is what best saves a family from an unrepentant father who is truly abusing children, is to call Some prison time can do wonders in bringing him to his senses and repentance. Hi Jim, Indeed — we should never hesitate to call if a child or anyone else is suffering abuse at the hands of another.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Seems to me that the call is to conversion to the love of God, not the prohibition of divorce per se. It is easy to think that Jesus was addressing a male audience here but the same applies to women. It is supposed to be sacred. Man however hungers for the wordly and own fulfillment. Many people also grew up with so many different values in their different societies that it is not easy to understand and forgive these differences.

The couple also struggles to know their identity in God let alone their position like the man to be head and priest. Lastly no relationship can stand if not built on the Rock. Shalom Dr. Eli, so we are talking about a marriage relationship under the law of Moses, versus a marriage relationship where both partners have received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and should be fulfilling the Law through the spirit of love. Jesus tells us when divorce and remarriage is justified, and the Apostle Paul states that if the Christian couple cannot live together for whatever other reason, then they should separate, and try to reconcile their differences, or faults, so that if possible, they can restore the marriage.

Love in Christ, Bill Martinez. Hi Bill, Thanks for sharing. Jesus did indeed come again as he said he would before some of them had died. He also said I and my father…John In the form of the Holy Spirit the advocate, Jesus and His father came. Hebrews also confirms that if we walk in the Spirit we will have unity.

Why do we not see this? On the issue of marriage….. Matthew Moses permitted…God did not intend it to be that way. God is our refuge our ever present help. Well, I read many of the comments above from many people, and I do believe in two things. The woman could bad or the man could be bad.

And they lived it to the end. How about that? Meanwhile, they made their kids totally miserable! Too often, people ignore this concept and end up in bad marriages and bad divorces. Think about it! But the problem is, maybe your perfect soulmate does not live in your area, but somewhere near or far away! Utterly scandalized. I am new to this site and this thread. As a Christian who wants to know the Word of God in all fullness of truth, I find it intriguing to consider the scriptures from the perspective of the first century audience as they would have understood it.

The English translators were suspect in their translation. Some teach that he was angry over the circumcision incident, others teach that he feared for the safety of her and the children, and some that he formally divorced her when Jethro later brought her back, was it an attempt to reconcile ,. Dr Eli, l have been following this subject in discussion with various sighs. Personally, regarding the faith of the Saints, the love Christ taught, and the utmost intention of the Torah in consideration of Holiness and Love, l believe that God hates and detests divorce and if we could find the heavenly value of love in us, we can forgive no matter how hurt we be in a marriage.

Adam had many reasons to divorce Eve, so was Abraham or Sarah, but these were God-matched marriages, put together by Him and not human desire. What comes from God cannot drive you to a point of divorce or that thought for any matter. Had involved and follow many debates about this matter and found this topic always interesting. To fight for better and improved marriage relationship is good and needed for greater Christlike character. However, the context is different on the day of Paul in Gentiles area. Many husband or wife divorced by their unbelieving spouses because of their faith in Jesus Christ.

For them, Paul said, if they have no gift of celibacy, it is better for them to remarriage rather than falling into sexual sins cf. Thank you, Naek. Context is aways important but we need to be cautious about drawing dogmatic conclusions about the precise nature of that context. Sure, I agree with you about context, Dr. Sometimes, conclusions could be draw as long as it is unified and harmonious with the core or central theme of the Bible, rather than being naturalist who never draw any conclusion and waiting for infinite facts to come.

In this case, the purpose of Paul is clear. He wanted to protect the betrothed, widows, and the unmarried who separated by their unbelieving partner who have no gift of celibacy, to remarry, rather than burn into passion cf. This principle could be accepted as the progressive revelation. I appreciate your thoughtfulness here. We could write books about this issue, of course and they have! This is an interesting discussion and a very important one.

I agree with Dr. The Aramaic version has an important nuance in Matthew that sheds some light on this. Divorce and remarriage became a very complex issue. Traditional Judaism interpreted the commandment against adultery in a manner that adultery could be committed only by a married woman. The husband was free to do as he wished with any woman unless it was specifically prohibited in the Torah. Here Jesus is teaching that a husband who sends his wife away will cause her to commit adultery unless she has done so already. Further, he is teaching that no man should take advantage of or attempt to marry a woman who has been put away without legal divorce.

Jesus affirmed and strengthened the TORAH by allowing the provision for divorce and remarriage on the grounds of adultery but He condemned the arbitrary abandonment. Divorce and remarriage was allowed but discouraged. Separations had to be handled with care.


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For the most part they were letters to specific congregations and individuals having specific issues. I know that is not what most of you learned in church but most scholars are well aware of it from studying the texts carefully. Shalom, James. Thanks for the very thoughtful response! One really has to twist the sentence grammar to make it say anything like that.

DeFrancisco also makes this point above. I have always read the passages in Mark and in Matthew to be slightly at odds with each other, but it has just occurred to me that they are talking about different things. Yes, in Mark the Pharisees ask about divorce but Jesus replies commenting on remarriage. Perhaps he knows what in really behind their question. But in Matthew, yes, he is indeed talking about divorce. The thrust would then seem to be — there is one ground for divorce adultery and no grounds for remarriage. Shalom Richard. Glad to have you with us. I think a better way to look at it is that Matthew makes explicit what Mark leaves implicit.

Even if that is not the solution — one thing we can say for sure: Despite how things might appear Matthew is NOT ruling out remarriage. I have read through every comment and I just wanted to mention a few things: 1. He also stated that to divorce and remarry would cause adultery to be committed. Summary: Divorce whilst not acceptable to God is permitted but remarriage is not. We must remember that the marriage vow is a covenent and God does not break covenants.

I personally sympathise for a lot of solid Christian people who have found themselves in abusive and dysfunctional marriages and I pray for all concerned that God through King Jesus will make a way. When He comes the Bible says that every eye shall see Him. There is no secret rapture because the word of God says that the trumpet of the lord will sound and a trumpet is not silent but very loud and it will be the trumpet of the lord which will be louder than anything we have here on earth.

Dear Anita Many people quote that and yet they say the 4th commandment is not to be kept by Christians because it is for the Jews only. And before you say the commandments were done away with at the cross you must realize that it was the Sacrificial laws that were done away with. Also Exodus just confirms what Genesis says. Why is it that Paul said it is dishonoring for a man to cover his head when the Jewish custom has been for the men to wear a hat of some kind on their head? Why is it considered to be wrong for a woman not to cover her head?

Second: Why believe Matthew more than Mark? Why set Hillel or Shammai in a context to Jesus? No talmudic blahblah needed. The mistake you are marking, Gunther is stunning. Not a good idea. There is no relevant context. Nothing with exceptions or if-then or similar wording around…. We have two slightly different introductions, Mark and Matthew, and the longer one is imho the correct one. And the other facts, Hillel vs. Shammai, Josephus, Kippa, stand correct.

But: I use the original Greek resp. The texts in English are the Revised K. Plus an Hebrew-German Interlinear…. You use. Someone very close to my wife and I was very reluctant to remarry because of her difficulty understanding the very verses you mention in your blog. Your explanation is very helpful. However, there was another passage that was difficult to understand as well. Could you comment on how [1Ti ] should be understood? While the woman was not a widow she found it difficult not to feel like she was betraying Christ when she remarried.

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I find this passage very perplexing. Any insight would be a great help. I am divorced from a man who had professed to be a Jewish Messianic Believer. He was adddicted to pornography. It makes men callous and insensitive to their wives. Eventually it led to him acting out. Scripture was my guide.


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  • I read about the parable of the tree that was to be cut down. That tree was my marriage. Not only did not bear fruit, there was another incident. The answer was clear, cut it down. Another story the Holy Spriit pointed out to me was Johnah, when he took the opposite route of what the Lord had commanded him. As he went in the ship , he had to be tossed out to get the ship safely to the other shore.

    The direction for me was to toss Jonah out of my boat life and I had get peacefully to the other shore. I did as directed and peace has been my portion. Dear Ellen, not sure your texts have anything to do with your situation best I can tell , but certainly sexual immorality is a approved reasons for biblical divorce. Did Jesus forbid remarriage? Yes absolutely. Except when marriage has ended through the death of a spouse because marriage is a lifelong Covenant given by God.

    Eli, I respectfully disagree with you. Jesus was very clear, He said that Moses allowed a men to divorce their wives due to the hardness of their hearts but it was not so from the beginning. What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder. When God creasted Eve He took the female part of Adam out of the man to crerate the woman. When a man and a woman get married to whom God has chosen they become the full human that desires them to be. Albert I am truly pro-marriage :- , but I think you will acknowledge that there are many situations where divorce is in fact justified in every way.

    Response to Dr. Eli on comment below…. I can understand the cultural thinking, but if Yehovah created us to be like him, indeed, to be a picture to the world of what Yehovah thinks and is like, then it seems that we should take into consideration that while divorce may be necessary if the other mate has been unfaithful or is abusive, etc. Instead he demonstrated to the world an undying compassion and love for his erring, now divorced wife, and in the fullness of time, He intended to reclaim her for his own…as Hosea is such a beautiful picture of.

    Yehovah never completely gave up on his erring wife. She was so committed to the Lord, that she never married again in obedience to Him, but was a shining example of faith and dependence on God to meet her in her need. She interceded daily for this man that God would give him repentance to return back to God, which took several decades.

    That is the faithfulness of Yehovah demonstrated in His servant. I know it is possible for I saw it happen to her and to another woman whose husband was also unfaithful and left her, yet she prayed for him for 30 years and remained unmarried and committed to him, and he came to a whole-hearted repentance and faith in Christ before he died, broken by her steadfast love for him and for God. And then there is Hosea. Thank Yehovah for that precious book, but if one even mentions these things to someone who wants to give up on the one they made a vow to, he is looked at as if he is nuts.

    And Paul also supports this in 1 Cor. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband , and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But thank you for listening.

    That is all I will say on the matter. I know this is not a popular subject, but do we consider such a thing for the Kingdom of God? These three examples did and what a picture they have been to my soul of our loving and faithful and long-suffering God who will never give up on his wife but will hang in there until everything He desired for her comes to pass…becoming a pure and chaste lover of God.

    Marriage is not the ultimate. But loving God with all ones heart and becoming a part of His Kingdom is. There is a reason God put us with a certain person…so that our soul may intercede for them and love them as Christ loved us…even unto death. If an abusive husband of 10 years abandoned his 6months old infant child and home without his spouse knowing that he would leave to reside in another home and repeatedly told his spouse that he would not returned for any reasons. Or would the spouse have to wait until her husband is dead to remarry?

    Also, can this person get married again in the sight of God even when they were not the one who left the marital home and abandoned the family? In my opinion only: What made divorce bad was the breaking of a vow. Definitely agree with the Conservative view as it describes the narrowness of the Gate, the walking in the Law and Spirit, but also I think Corinthians is highly important to mention, and understanding that if the partner takes you away from Christ, let them leave.

    Principles of Marriage …14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Let us not forget that the Bible, both Testaments, are actually the words of men and women.

    God, if God exists, wrote not a single syllable. One may aver that the Bible, a collection of miscellaneous works, exists solely because men and women created the documents of which it is composed. Furthermore, one must remain mindful of the fact that there are different Bibles Jew, Roman Catholic, and the various Protestant denominations, all of which in one way another selected or adopted the scriptures that their various Bibles contain.

    Ask, too, what texts were omitted and why were they? Andrew, we have a phrase in Russian language my mother tongue. He hears the ring, but does not know where it is coming from. After some current time constraints are relived I am contemplating on taking some of your courses.

    Thank you for all you do. You will love it! Hardness of heart is sin… Matthew KJV [8] He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Mark ,9, KJV [5] And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. I think we are all taking issues surrounding marriage and divorce on a carnal or physical level, have you stopped to look at it spiritually because God does.

    We recreate this union when we marry and true when the Lord Jesus says it was not so from the beginning. There is reference being made to God giving Israel a divorce consider this, what God went through with Israel from Egypt to the promised continued. God forgives Israel so many times and even after the divorce redeems her by his blood, God literally goes to hell and back for his beloved Israel and has her purified. Admittedly there are terrible things that happen in marriages that only true love can conquer. Its embodied in vows we make and its all spiritual.

    Thank you for giving more information about divorce, I was reading all the posts above that was condemning your view point. Your interpretation of the conservative Jewish view gave me great peace. Conservative Christians tend to fall out on the side of adultery-only as grounds for divorce and remarriage. The view that abandonment, adultery and abuse as legal grounds makes a lot more sense.

    Thank you! Speaking for myself, I for one have finally come to the conclusion that the biblical view concerning marriage was never instituted by God. My reason for this conclusion follows. If in the Jewish as well as Christian views, God sanctions marriage. But then, what about marriages, be them Islamic, Buddhist, pagan, Hindu, Scientology, and including any other religion or belief system that is not biblically based.

    Paul said that his hope was in the resurrection. The inference is that he knew that he would rest die physically in the Lord and that one day a resurrection would occur to his body to be reunited with his spirit again. He teaching was for all generations of believers to anticipate the coming of the Lord as like a thief in the night meaning suddenly at any time.

    That message warning is to all believers to live as if the Lord will return at any time because at some predestined time He will. He means to live Godly lives. Thank you, Bob, for your comment. Where does Paul say that his hope was in the resurrection? In 1Cor he says his hope is in Messiah.

    I have been around churches my whole 55 years of life and have watched church leaders and members flirt with this topic from time to time. Recently I have done a u turn on this issue. As unpopular and confronting as this may be, remarriage for the children affected is not necessarily a wonderful happily ever after.

    In fact it be a ghastly existence. Biblical thoughts? Moses allowed for divorce Deu but stipulates that a divorcee after remarrying another cannot return to the first spouse Deu What constitutes legitimate cause for divorce was a hot debate topic among rabbis during the late second temple period, and Yeshua sided with Shammai that only infidelity was sufficient cause for divorce Mat Clearly abuse would be sufficient as well, otherwise the husband would not be fulfilling his marital contract called a Ketuba to his wife, but that would have been obvious to both sides.

    So naturally whoever marries the divorcee is really marrying a married person: adultery. The issue, Shane, is what constitutes a legitimate reason for divorce. Jesus gave his perush, his interpretation. The question to Yeshua was what condition is sufficient grounds for divorce and he said infidelity was , and to Paul what happens afterward.

    Concerning your citation, I would invite you to read the entire chapter of Malachi 2. Obviously the ideal is that a man and woman would be happily married for their whole lives, but this side of eternity just is not perfect, and these issues need to be wrestled with. Jesus said he will judge the adulterers.

    We are to judge not lest we be judged. Jesus said vengeance is mine Jesus will repay. We can judge all things for ourselves and we will judge angels if we reign with Jesus but all of us have fallen short of the looking after a woman to lust after her so we are all adulterers at heart. If we want Jesus to write our sins with fingers in the sand. Be sure to quote the whole verse, Cole. He does not forbid judging, but rather warns that by the judgment that we use, we will be judged by. Yes, Thank goodness I did not answer for Yeshua. I just happen to be more interested in the latter, but thank you, Romel, for the suggestion anyway.

    Eg married men did not commit adultery under Torah…. Sir, help me on this case of divorces, our church has put a law of prohibited those who had divorce not to be leader of a church. For exemple: A man or women leave a husband or wife goes and marry to someone elso, family and church try to solve the problema but they fail, passing 5 to 7 years, one who was abandoned marries he or she cannot to be a leader of the church?

    Clearly the ideal is that couples remain married even if one spouse is unbelieving. That being said, Paul rules that if an unbelieving spouse separates, then the believer is not in bondage. This means that they are legally not bound in marriage to the unbeliever that left.

    This should solve your dilemma based on how you explained it. But this is just what the Bible says, but clearly your congregation needs to adopt a standard that everyone will find amicable, even if it is more stringent than this. But my question is this, are there so many divorced people in your congregation that this is a pertinent issue? Can the person that you mentioned not serve in other ways if the congregation has established such a rule? It sounds like you are speaking past each other by using different definitions.

    In what way is or is not the Word of God Jewish, Christian or neither? Resulting in a major Vulnerability for the woman. She could legally be stoned or the case where the first husband takes her back causing an abominable condition. Not really. If the woman were maritally unfaithful, then she should be stoned and the man with whom she cheated.

    It may be helpful to define marriage. Is it a legal, certified definition? Is it a matter of two persons joining in heart and soul to be one in living together? It often looks to me that people may be legally married, but have disconnected the marital joining while living together. Once a person goes a separate way that does not consider the one to whom the vows were spoken, then it seems the marriage has been broken. The legal disconnect only comes later. If Jesus applied a rule. Then the rule must be applied. Because Jesus is God then God laws must be adhere to.

    We cant just listen to men on earth. If he never saw the heaven. There is only One who was in heaven and return to His kingdom. No other men can rule. One King and one ruler with HIS law that we must obey. Jesus standard for marriage in Genesis is that a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife.

    What God has joined together let no man put asunder. For the hard hearted Jews Moses no Jehovah permitted divorce.


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    Do you think Paul is misinformed? What he wrote was by divine revelation just like the inspired O T prophets. Do you have a problem with 2Tim. He was probably referring to Tanakh. If you try to twist that we could consider you false a teacher…. As a sinner, I was called in October to follow Christ.

    For 2 months I pondered what to do with my 3 wives. So I wasted no time and called the Pastors to lead me to Christ in December All these time I was seeking for ways to release divorce two of them. God is my righteous judge. God DID take another Bride in a manner of speaking. Jesus only gave one legitimate reason for divorce and that was fornication.

    Fornication is not a blanket word for infidelity, sexual immorality, fornication is an act of someone who is not married. As in the case of Joseph and Mary, she was espoused to Joseph engaged to be married. Before they came together she was found with child. In Josephs mind he believed she had been unfaithful to him by committing fornication, thats why he thought to put her away. That was the just cause for divorce. It couldnt be fornication after they were married, that would be called adultery.

    Am I understanding you correctly that fornication can only be committed by unmarried people? How can that ever be a legitimate reason for divorce then? Whatever credentials you appear to have. Clearly most of these know nothing about divorce or the breakdown of a marriage. Abuse, adultery, and abandonment can take many forms not always obvious.

    Jesus Himself is and was the Word Of God. Jesus said to wait in Jerusalem until He could return as the Holy Spirit. No where have I read the He was going to leave us a book of instructions. He did however promise the He in His Holy Spirit would lead and teach everything we need to know. Here, it used to be almost universal that when marriages among God-fearers happened in churches, there was an explicit or implicit vow made before God and in His name invoking His seal on the vow.